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Heroines

July 13, 2011 by The Rev. Pamela Henry Fahrner

When we hear stories of successful women throughout the ages, we sometimes feel that their accomplishments are somehow out of our reach. We suspect they posses(ed) some extra gift of courage or luck or gumption. Today we will look at some heroines-both from the past and the present. As you will see, they have affected our world greatly. I have a plaque on my kitchen wall that says “Well behaved women seldom make history”. And it’s true that if we remain “nice girls, quiet, obedient and subservient”, we will most likely, leave this world with no marks. Last gathering, we talked about our role as mentors. As we interact with our daughters or daughters-in-law, our sons and our grandchildren, we have opportunities to affect not only now, but the future. Our generation of women have made amazing strides, but there still is a long way to go. The women we will discover in our background material did not settle for the status quo. When they encountered injustice, they spoke up! The more contemporary women offer advice “recipes for success”. See if you agree…
Our next Agape Gathering is Saturday, July 23rd at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church in Oakland. Please join us if you can. Bring a friend or neighbor is you wish. They are welcome as well. Oh-one more thing. I thought that we’d take a look at our church bulletins and see how much we have in common (or not!) in our services. So-please bring a bulletin from your church so we can compare and learn!

7-23-2011 Agape Success Stories

God bless each of you and our beautiful summer,

Pam+
*note: Our background material came from Real Simple Magazine

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“So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1: 27

May 20, 2011 by The Rev. Pamela Henry Fahrner

“God saw everything everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good.” Gen 1:31. Some experts claim that most of our problems (of mankind in general) are that of a lack of self-esteem. “They” state that the quest for power and greed is really a quest to feel better about ourselves. Women, with society telling us that our appearance is all important, are particularly sensitive to issues about our looks. As we age, society is particularly hard on us as images of the young and beautiful are thrown in our faces. It seems as though we just get to the point of knowing who we are and what we want and then we start falling apart!
This Gathering, we will discuss how we see ourselves, our bodies and our feelings about aging. This year and last, we have focused on life passages. Saturday, May 28th we will talk about the fact that God did create us and stated that we were “good”. When we depreciate ourselves, are we not accepting God’s view of us, his creation? Look over the background material and see if it resonates with you. Most of the material comes from Real Simple Magazine, one of my favorites! I look forward to seeing you and apologize for the Memorial Day weekend scheduling. I would have changed it, but this year am resisting the temptation.
God bless you all,
Pam+

5-28-2011 Agape Back Mat

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We can all imagine

April 4, 2011 by The Rev. Pamela Henry Fahrner

what it would be like to have a spouse become ill or die from an illness. What are the realities of the situation from the inside looking out? But are our imaginations correct? We have all had friends and relatives lose someone dear. How do we best respond? What things are truly helpful? Do we show up with meals? Offer meals? How can we avoid saying something hurtful? Where is the line between allowing privacy or intruding? What are the unexpected results when troubles hit? What are the blessings?

To learn from those who have or are facing these issues, we have a panel of women who have first hand experience. Thanks to their generosity of spirit, they will share their lives with us when we gather on this coming Saturday, April 9th at 10 AM at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church in Oakland. For this gathering, there is no homework! Do give these issues some thought however and come prepared with questions for these gifted women. Carole Perez, our own Ellen Fritz and Sue Kellam have graciously agreed to give us an insider’s view into this life passage that many of us will face. Come and see. Bring your friends so we as women, can look down this road and be better prepared and more knowledgable. We can be better prepared and informed as well in the delicate dance of being a true friend to a dear one when troubles strike.

I look forward to seeing you as spring teases us! If you cannot join us, please accept my wishes for you to have a beautiful and blessed Easter.

God bless,
Pam+

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The Wisdom of Women

February 11, 2011 by The Rev. Pamela Henry Fahrner

I am very happy with the development of this group. I am continually struck by how very much we have in common, but also how much we have to learn about and from each other. Last month and over the last few Gatherings, we have discussed some meaty issues of life-marriage, death, elder care and forgiveness to name a few. At our last Gathering, our discussion was so interesting (presented by Nancy Elizabeth Nimmick) that we didn’t even get to part of our topic area-that of caring for our spouses (or them caring for us!) during serious illness. We talked about carrying the discussion over to this Gathering. I then had a brilliant idea! Wouldn’t it be most interesting and enlightening to hear from women who have or are dealing with this issue? So for our April Gathering (April 9th), we will have a panel of fascinating women to share their experiences with us. Don’t miss it!

For this month’s Gathering, we will discuss something with which we are all very familiar-advice! Whether giving giving or receiving it, we as women feel compelled to try to help when we see someone we care about in pain or heading in the wrong direction. And our Womanly Wisdom comes into play most acutely with members of our own family-our mothers, daughters, grand-daughters and our adopted family-close friends. (And no, sons and grandsons are not exempt!) The attached file is large, but really quick reading and entertaining. What would you add to the list? Do you agree with the shared wisdom? Disagree? However you feel, our discussion should be easy-going. So, join us as we take a look at the Wisdom of Women and along the way, talk about mothers and daughters. So don’t be intimidated by the size of this file, just go and do something else while it downloads!

I look forward to seeing you and catching up. It seems like a long time since our last Gathering! We’ll have the coffee on and be waiting for you!
God bless,

Pam+Agape 2-19-2011 Study Material

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We may or may not be wives, may or may not be mothers, but we all are daughters …

January 4, 2011 by The Rev. Pamela Henry Fahrner

and we all have (or have had) parents. These relationships are complex. Most of us will deal with caring for our parents at some time in our lives. Or we may be faced with caring for our spouses or children who need our help. How do we handle the changes? How do we face the challenges? What ARE exactly the challenges we will face? What resources are available to us on our mountain-top community? How do we honor them and protect ourselves and our families from losing OUR lives? How do we set boundaries? How do we handle the emotional stress?

Our own Nancy Elizabeth Nimmich, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, will briefly address our gathering this Saturday, January 8th at 10 AM at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church in Oakland. She, who works with Hospice of Garrett County, will give us information about Hospice and how it works. She will lead us in discussion of care and address some of the questions raised in the preceeding paragraph.

In addition, I will direct you to several websites with articles on the topic. Strangely, in all of the articles I’ve saved for use with our Agape, none were particularly pertinent. It is a difficult topic and one we most often just HOPE won’t happen. We know that the time may well come, but put off thinking about it-until we are forced to jump in and help. Gerontologists have expertise, but we procrastinate. Then we ineptly try to “help” and find that we lack the knowledge to be most effective and kind to those we love. So here we are. Check out a few of the articles and resources. Bring your questions and your experience to share. Together we can learn and help each other face the inevitable-with grace.

http://seniorhealth.about.com/library/eldercare/bl_apact.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/eldercare/2007-06-24-elder-care-cover_N.htm
http://www.bringingeldercarehome.com/childcare_and_eldercare.html
http://eldercareabcblog.com/how-to-deal-with-aging-parents/
http://www.washington.edu/admin/hr/benefits/worklife/resourcecent/eldercare_library_122305.pdf (this is just for references for further study)
http://www.newjerseynewsroom.com/healthquest/the-sandwich-generation-the-modern-dilemma-of-elder-care
http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/caring/caregiver/family-friends/caring-spouse
http://www.wellspouse.org/ (a source for information/resourses)
http://news.all4naturalhealth.com/longevity-boosted-when-caring-for-sick-spouse/

That’s about as much as you can probably absorb-for now. There are resources all over the “net”. The purpose is to open our minds to the topic and get us prepared.
God bless,

Pam+

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Wishing you a blessed Christmas…

December 22, 2010 by The Rev. Pamela Henry Fahrner

and a new year filled with delights. I’m watching snowflakes gently fall-remembering that they are each unique-miraculous. It is a wonder that with the g-zillion people who inhabit the earth, we are each unique as well…and that is miraculous too! It is our unique-ness that makes our discussions lively-for we can experience similar things, but we all have a different perspective. We learn from each other and grow-in wisdom and grace along the way.
I hope that Agape, A Gathering of Women is and has been interesting and worth your time this year. I hope (and pray) that the opportunity to meet women from different faiths and different churches has enriched your life. I hope (and pray) to bring you interesting topics and speakers that will lead you to set aside some time to refresh your souls.
Our first Agape gathering is January 8th-so put it on your calendars! I don’t yet know the topic, but I will e-mail you when I do! In the meantime, there is a website which may be of interest to you-www.prayables.com. It is a site dedicated to women-reaching out to other women for prayer and communication. Go to the site for better and more complete information. It was brought to my attention by a new (and lovely) “member” of Agape, Mary Boscaino.
I know this is a busy season-so this message will be brief. Please accept my thanks for being part of this Gathering. I pray that this year will bring you contentment, joy, love and whatever your hearts’ desire!
God bless you all,
Pam+

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Gains and Losses

November 2, 2010 by The Rev. Pamela Henry Fahrner

To my dear Women of Agape,
On October 2nd, we had a spirited discussion of marriage with a wealth of shared experiences. We discussed interests for future gatherings and decided to tackle “necessary losses” we all are likely to face. I believe that we however, can choose to counter our losses with gains. So we will talk about our paired experiences of losses AND gains at our next Agape gathering on  NOVEMBER 13th at 10 AM AT ST MATTHEW’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH in Oakland. I was amazed as I poured through my “stash” of background material (primarily from Real Simple Magazine contributors), at the variety of loss we face in our lifetimes. As a result, I have a huge PDF file for you this month. As you read about the extraordinary losses experienced, be aware of the unique ways the authors chose to learn and grow. We might very well not get through all of the material during our discussion, but I’ve included it because I felt it valuable and hope you will too!
 I’m sure it will come as no surprise to any of you that I’d love to have more of you attend the Gatherings. We average about 15 or so and with nearly 50 on the roster, we miss many of you. So I was thinking that maybe you’ll all be able to come to a party! It will be at my home on December 9th (a Thursday) from 5 until 8 PM. I will e-mail you my address as well as a “formal” invitation. This will be strictly a social affair with no homework. So-save the date and plan to relax and share some good cheer.
Below is the gigantic file. Start the download and do something else while it downloads! Thanks for your patience. I hope you’ll find it worth it!
God bless you in this season of grace,
Pam+
Loss & Gain 11-2-2010 Agape

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